Finger Whistle Calling You
A short narrative from Yuna's perspective following the events of Final Fantasy X, before "Eternal Calm."
Since then, I have been looking at the sky and the sea.
Ever since that dawn when countless souls lit up the sky of Spira, and the thousand-year nightmare came to an end—ever since that day when we defeated Sin...
Now, the sky has cleared up, blue and clear as far as the eye can see. The warm sunlight will no longer suddenly be blocked by the shadow of a great disaster.
The sea swells gently, and the ripples sparkle. Never again will this calm surface rise like a mountain to engulf a city.
The one and only wish I’ve had since I was a child has come true. Just like my father, I was able to give Spira a Calm where everyone can laugh from the bottom of their hearts without fear... and this time, it will last forever. Sin has fallen out of the cycle of rebirth and has completely disappeared. And though I should have died in exchange for invoking the Final Summoning, I was able to celebrate this Calm with everyone—a time I was never supposed to see.
People say it was a miracle. They say Summoner Yuna performed a miracle and saved Spira. But that's not the case.
I know, and so do all the Guardians who protected me. This was inevitable. From the moment you resolved yourself for our sake, the dream had already started running toward its end.
If there was a miracle, I think it was meeting you. The day I became a summoner, when you washed up on Besaid Island.
Tidus.
I want to see you again.
I want to talk to you about so many things. I want to say thank you. I want to walk through this peaceful world together. I want to laugh and have fun until dawn.
I want to tell you that I love you. I want to touch you once more. I want to hold you. I want to be held.
So I keep looking at the sky and the sea. I’m whistling toward the sky you loved and the sea you came from. So that you can hear me, so that you can find your way back without getting lost.
If everyone’s wish to erase Sin was the power that brought you to Spira... then I’m going to try. Believing that the miracle will happen again, I’ll ask everyone who will listen to the story I’m about to tell.
For that, first, I’ll trace back my thoughts from the very beginning. It’s something I do every day...
I haven’t forgotten our promise to whistle.
The Trial to Become a Summoner from an Apprentice.
I was at my wit’s end in the Chamber of the Fayth at the Besaid Temple.
I had been secluded in there for an entire day, offering prayers, but I just couldn’t connect with the Fayth. If I had felt no connection at all, I would have started over and tried a different approach to synchronize my spirit, but in my case, I felt like the Fayth was right there, close enough I could touch her.
It was as if I just needed to open one more door to fully connect with the Fayth’s heart, but I couldn’t unbolt it—it was a frustrating feeling that persisted for more than half a day, and I started to feel pathetic, wondering if I would ever be able to become a summoner.
Later, I learned that because I had been training in Besaid for so long, I was too close to the Fayth of Valefor. The Fayth had been watching over me as an apprentice summoner and had tried to approach me when I offered my prayers. But instead, our hearts pressed too closely together, causing a sort of friction, making it difficult to adjust the subtle differences... This is something that can happen especially during the first trial.
If I had just relaxed a bit, we could have connected right away, but when you're feeling rushed, it’s hard to take a step back and see yourself clearly. I really felt desperate at that time.
Was I feeling pressured?
Lulu and Kimahri were waiting in the antechamber, and I kept worrying if they were hungry or if everyone in the village was getting concerned, and I just kept pushing myself further into a corner. No, maybe that’s an excuse... To be honest, I was scared of what would happen if I couldn’t become a summoner.
Everyone had high expectations for me, Yuna, an apprentice summoner who inherited the blood of my father, a High Summoner. They were cheering me on, believing that one day I would become a great summoner capable of defeating Sin. I was truly happy about that. The title “Daughter of Braska” felt a little heavy, but it wasn’t a burden. But naturally, since I started aspiring to become a summoner, everyone began to be careful not to get too close to me. There is a temple in Besaid, so the people who live there know very well what it means to become a “High Summoner.” So when they interacted with me, they naturally kept a distance.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel lonely, but even so, I thought this unavoidable solitude was something I had to accept. As long as I continued on the path of a summoner who fights Sin, I knew that someday, I would have to say goodbye to everyone.
Everyone thinks that if they don’t get too close to me, it’ll make the eventual parting less painful.
It’s means they’re all watching over me, ensuring that the “summoner egg,” which will one day save the world, doesn’t shatter before it hatches—that it grows into a chick and spreads its wings properly. I know deep down that I’m not truly alone... Yet at that moment, as I was praying, I suddenly felt a sharp pain.
What they’re worried about is the “future summoner,” not “Yuna.” So, if I failed this trial and lost even my status as an apprentice summoner, their hopes would fade away like morning dew...
No one would ever blame me. But I didn’t want to be the one to extinguish their hopes. I was supposed to bring a gift to Spira, but if I were to extinguish one of its stars of hope instead, wouldn’t that be just like what Sin does? That thought weighed heavily on me. I couldn’t afford to fail; there was no room for error. If I didn’t succeed, I feared I’d never be able to smile again. How could the door to my heart open like that? It felt like the Fayth was trying to push it open, while I was desperately holding it shut from the other side.
I was dazed. I lost track of how many times I had failed to synchronize with the Fayth, and I was becoming increasingly disoriented. I found myself lying face down on the floor, trying to catch my breath for just a moment. I remembered how the previous summoner who attempted the trial here had struggled to connect with the Fayth and had to be rescued in a severely exhausted state. They were so focused on their prayer that their mind and body became out of sync, and they unknowingly spent a long time barely breathing. If they had been just a little slower in crawling out to where the Guardian was waiting, they might have lost their life...
Yes, if things became dangerous, I knew I had to find my way out of the Fayth’s chamber on my own. The temple’s rules were strict: only Guardians could accompany summoners into the Chamber of the Fayth during trials, and only summoners or apprentice summoners were allowed to enter the chamber itself.
I wondered if I might die there... Just as that thought crossed my mind, I felt a small vibration through the cool stone floor against my cheek.
It was the sound of the mechanism in the Cloister of Trials activating. At first, I thought it might be Wakka, who had been waiting for me back in the village.
But I quickly realized it wasn’t him. I could hear the sound of someone repeatedly making mistakes while trying to insert the spheres in the correct order to open the path—something Wakka would never get wrong. Then I thought, “If it’s not Wakka, then who could it be?” At that time, there were no other summoners in the village, and the ship from Kilika had only just arrived. There was no way any new summoners or Guardians had arrived since I began the trial. Could it be that someone who wasn’t a Guardian had broken the rules and come out of concern for me?
That couldn't be possible, I thought, and I raised my head. If someone did that, they'd be excommunicated from the temple. This is an absolutely necessary trial to become a summoner, and for someone to break the rules just to save "Yuna," who isn't even a proper summoner yet... no way anyone would do that.
As I denied it, I realized that I had suddenly become more relaxed. My heart, which had been tense and rigid, let out a little air, and I was able to feel the Fayth pushing the door open. It was strange that I hadn't noticed it until then.
I sat up properly, took a slow, deep breath, and prayed again. Then, with surprising ease, I felt my heart connecting with the Fayth. Although I was fully conscious, the walls and floor around me disappeared, and all I could see was the figure of the Fayth as she was in life... I had always imagined the ideal mental state for communion, what you might call a state of "egolessness," and for the first time, I had reached it.
After that, it all happened in an instant. The soul bond between the Fayth and me was woven thick and strong, like a rope, and I was now able to borrow her power as the aeon Valefor whenever I needed. My will to fight Sin was acknowledged, and I became a summoner.
That sound had been the final push I needed. Just thinking that someone was thinking of me, forgetting that I was only an apprentice summoner, made me feel lighter. The arrogant feeling of carrying everything on my own shoulders disappeared somewhere.
After overcoming the mountain that I could never get over before, I realized that someone had indeed come to help me. If it had just been my imagination, there's no way I could have become a summoner so easily. So when I left the Chamber of the Fayth and saw you with the others, I wasn't surprised. "Ah, it was this person..." I immediately understood that it was your feelings, even though we had never met before, that had helped me.
Yes, it was thanks to you from the very beginning.
It was night when we spoke for the first time.
It was a small party to say goodbye to Besaid Island. Because I had decided that as soon as I became a summoner, I would leave on my pilgrimage. If I were to bring about the Calm, the sooner, the better. That way, fewer people would be attacked by Sin, right?
I had finished preparing for the pilgrimage and had set the date of the trial to coincide with the departure of the ferry. At the time, I thought it was a good idea, but now that I think about it, it was a schedule that just made me more anxious. If we didn't leave that day, we wouldn't make it to the Blitzball tournament in which Wakka and the other Besaid Aurochs were participating... I guess it's no wonder I pushed myself so hard, thinking, "I can't fail!"
I had actually thought I would finish the trial sooner, have a long talk with everyone in the village, and then say goodbye to Besaid Island. But it got so late... I didn't get to talk to you much. At the time, both everyone and I thought it was our last chance to talk.
But, I think...
During that short time we talked, I felt something new that I'd never felt before. It wasn't because you broke the rules to help me or anything like that... well, it was the first time, so I can't really explain it... but I think I fell in love the moment you praised me with a look of genuine surprise on your face, saying that my aeon was amazing.
First love? Love at first sight? Anyway, something that I had thought had nothing to do with me up until that point suddenly happened to me. So honestly, I didn't really understand it at the time. What? What are these feelings? I wondered if I was just excited about becoming a summoner... I never imagined I was in love.
However, I had heard that you were going to Luca with Wakka, so I was really looking forward to talking to you on the ferry tomorrow, instead of saying goodbye. Whatever we talked about, I was excited, thinking that it would be fun. Even after a night's sleep, the feeling didn't calm down, and I realized that something was a little strange. I wonder if Kimahri noticed sooner. Even though we hardly ever talked, he was always worried about me – that's why on the morning of our departure, he suddenly challenged you to a fight, to test you.
After that, I told you I didn’t really understand what Kimahri was thinking, but maybe I was just trying to cover it up. I mean, I couldn’t really explain it properly unless I told you all about my own feelings, right?
You were angry because you didn’t understand, but I was a little happy. I started thinking, if my father were alive and I brought home my first boyfriend, would he get all worked up like that too?… I’ll apologize on Kimahri’s behalf. I’m sorry. I must have surprised you, didn’t I?
A lot has happened since then, and it was a relief to see you and Kimahri getting along better. I always thought Kimahri would eventually accept you.
We finally got to talk at length on the ferry, the S.S. Liki.
I think it was after that. I realized that I was clearly aware of my feelings toward you.
When I was talking to you, I found myself laughing so naturally. Even though my heart was racing, I noticed that I felt at peace.
I think that’s because you didn’t see me as a “summoner destined to fight Sin,” but just as a girl your age. Everyone else is cautious around me because I’m a summoner, but you easily crossed that boundary. I enjoyed our casual conversations so much, and I was surprised at how just talking to a boy could make me feel so excited.
But I also understood that it was because you didn’t know anything about Spira. Everyone in this world knows all too well what a summoner’s pilgrimage means, so even though they respect summoners, they don’t try to get too close. They realize that the more enjoyable the moments are now, the more painful and lonely it will be later. I was aware of that too. So I never even thought about falling in love with someone. I thought it would be more painful than enjoyable to make that person sad.
But despite that, before I knew it, I had already fallen in love with you. I wondered why it was so fun just being together, and the answer came back to me: “I’m in love.”
What surprised me was what happened afterward. I thought I wasn’t the type to fall in love, so I sort of assumed that if I realized I’d fallen for someone, I’d try to distance myself from them. But, you know, I didn’t feel that way at all! Ah, I see, I was surprised to understand that this is what it means to truly like someone, to fall in love.
So… looking back now, it was a very convenient stpry, but I really hoped that you could return to Zanarkand, the “city that never sleeps,” without knowing my fate as a summoner. That way, even if you got close to me, you wouldn’t have to feel sad.
In reality, even if that had happened, it wouldn’t have been free of pain.
But just as summoners were the beacon of hope for Spira, a Zanarkand different from the ruins and the Blitzball ace who came from there were my dreams… They weren’t just delusions caused by Sin’s toxin, but a world without Sin that truly existed, and I had longed for it since I was a child. So I just assumed that you would definitely be able to return… and I thought that if that happened before you found out about me, then maybe I wouldn’t have to suppress these wonderful feelings.
Jecht, who came from the same Zanarkand I longed for and served as my father’s guardian—the kind and fun person who told me stories about the “city that never sleeps,” when I found out that he was your father, those feelings became even stronger. I felt reassured, as if the peaceful world I believed existed had become even more certain. If that were the case, I could believe that the time would come when Sin, who continues to torment Spira, would disappear completely. That I could be the one to end it. Your hometown of Zanarkand and the dream of bringing eternal peace to Spira became a single hope for me.
I wanted to travel with you. Even if only for a little while… This feeling became clear, and I couldn’t hold it back. I wanted to be with you, who treated me like a normal girl. I even came up with a plausible reason to hide these feelings from everyone. If I said that you were Jecht’s son, the others would understand. I thought Lulu and Wakka would be worried if they knew I was in love.
As if to punish my careless heart, Sin appeared.
Kilika was crushed. The brief moment of peace was trampled upon. People who will never be the same again. Hearts shattered like broken eggs, never to return to their original state.
Sin takes everything away. The ruins of Kilika, bathed in the fiery sunset, looked as if they were torn apart and stained with blood. The sadness and despair of those who had their loved ones taken away, and the frustration of those who lost their future in an instant, seemed to dye the world in that color.
A living disaster that engulfs the peaceful sunset in a whirlpool of death and fear without warning—I thought I understood what Sin was. But the cursed fiend that has tormented Spira for a thousand years was far more terrifying than I imagined, leaving overwhelming scars on the city, the buildings, and the hearts of the people.
On me. On you.
It was my first Sending. A ritual to release the souls of those who had died and guide them to the Farplane. It was the duty of the summoner, for if the dead who clung to this world were left alone, they would lose their human form and turn into fiends. The Sending was the only way to save wandering souls—or so I had been taught and understood.
But the Sending was painful. The summoner forcibly sublimated the souls that still wished to remain, clinging to their memories of life. They danced and calmed them. Despite the souls' desire to stay, they were released. They were made to fully accept death... Even though I understood it as salvation, it was a very painful act.
All that remains in the wake of Sin is pain. Summoners cannot heal; they can only prevent things from getting worse.
So I felt as if I were being confronted again with the obvious truth: the only thing to do was to stop Sin. It was a pain that squeezed out all the dependence that had remained within me, which I hadn't even noticed.
I was reminded once again that there was no time to waste in obtaining the Final Aeon. If I had set out sooner and gained the power to fight Sin, maybe no one would have died here today... When I thought of that, the final day I had imagined to be still far off suddenly felt very close. I realized that it had to be close.
I became acutely aware of my own "death"...
After the Sending that night, I had a dream.
In my dream, the souls, severed from their attachments by my dance, ascended into the twilight sky. The hearts of the dead rose higher and higher, vanishing into the Farplane.
When I realized it, I too was floating. I left the stage of rising water, dancing together with the pyreflies. It felt as if my body had become lighter than air. I couldn't descend or return. I kept rising through the empty sky. Toward the Farplane.
I looked down at the ground. Everyone was waving. Yes, this must be my final moment. After defeating Sin with the Final Aeon, I would depart without regrets...
I woke up in the middle of the night, crying.
I didn't even know why I was crying. Wasn't it my dream to give everyone the Calm? I didn't think I was afraid.
Maybe I was lonely. Maybe, like the dead who had regrets, I was sobbing because something was missing. I lay there in my sleeping position, staring into the darkness with my eyes open, thinking about it all the while.
How could I stop crying? How could I make my heart stronger?
And then, your face came to mind. If you traveled with me as my guardian, even if only until Luca, I could become stronger. If I could spend part of this pilgrimage with you, laughing together, getting excited, I could banish this timid part of myself and do my best. I was sure that I wouldn't feel like something was missing.
The next day, I suddenly asked you to become my guardian, and you were confused. I'm sorry for being selfish. But when I thought we would part ways at Luca, you formally accepted as my guardian, and I was truly happy. I knew I could be with you for a longer time.
Yes, thinking back on what happened in Luca makes me laugh!
In the middle of introducing the teams in the Blitzball tournament, you boldly declared that the Besaid Aurochs would take the championship! That was so exhilarating! Wakka was flustered, but deep down, I think he must have felt a sense of relief. Of course, I did too! I wanted every team to do their best since Blitzball gives everyone hope, but Besaid is my hometown, after all. I wanted to see Wakka and the team win, to engrave their joy in my memory. Your declaration was definitely an encouragement for everyone!
And then you taught me how to whistle.
You said that if I relaxed, I could whistle, and you would come running right away. I wanted to get good at it right away. Because it felt like it was the bond connecting you and me, like an invisible thread that tied my heart to the Fayth.
Soon after that, I was kidnapped by the Al Bhed before I could whistle properly, but while I was held captive, I practiced hard. Gradually, I was able to make a sound, and eventually, a guard, surprised by my whistle, came over and opened the door, and I defeated him.
I'm much better at it now than I was then.
I practice for hours every day.
If I get better, do you think you'll be able to hear me?
I'm sure it will reach you...
You were worried afterward.
You learned that summoners have no future after defeating Sin. You regretted saying all those things to me.
But you know, I didn't hate it at all. I was really looking forward to hearing your plans for after peace was restored. In the scene you envisioned in your heart, I, who shouldn't be there, am present. It wasn't a lonely thought, but a joyful one.
In a world without Sin where everyone can laugh from the bottom of their hearts, I'll go with you and all my friends to see the night Moonflow. The pyreflies gather around the moon lilies shine as beautifully as the stars in the night sky... Just thinking about it made me feel as if I were really there in the future. So, even back then, I was grateful to you, and there was nothing for you to apologize for.
However, as I walked along the Mi’ihen Highroad, I kept thinking that if I were to defeat Sin before you returned to your Zanarkand, it would make you very sad.
I thought about it in Kilika. I reflected on how important it was to express my feelings while sending those who had their lives taken without being able to leave any words to the Farplane... That's when I decided that at some point during my pilgrimage, I would record a sphere for all the guardians. Even if my life were to end, if I could leave my feelings in words before that, it would be a great happiness.
I wanted to tell you, who had officially become my guardian, how I felt and how much I felt saved.
I wanted you to understand that Yuna was happy... That day, as I thought about this, I saw an unbelievably calm sunset in front of Rin's travel agency, and I knew I had to take a picture right then.
But in the end, even through the sphere, I couldn't find the words to convey my feelings to you. I ended up saying all sorts of strange things that might make you even sadder, and just as I was thinking of retaking it, you showed up.
Since then, so much has happened that I even forgot about the retake.
Then I found out you had the sphere. I wonder where I dropped it... You saw it, didn't you? I wonder how long you'd been looking at the sphere... It's embarrassing. When I think about it, my face turns red.
But...but. Now I feel like it's good that you saw it. I'm glad that I could convey at least a part of the feelings I had back then to you.
You know.
I think my judgment back then was wrong.
I want to apologize to you as well.
When Master Seymour proposed to me in Guadosalam,
and I thought about accepting it.
I reflect on it and realize that it was such a foolish decision that there's no excuse for it.
Ever since I decided to become a summoner, I viewed marriage from a distorted perspective. Hmm... Rather than being distorted, I hadn't properly considered it until then, as if it was something impossible.
In the battle with Sin, summoners who used the Final Summoning always died. To avoid the pain of parting, they didn't fall in love. So, naturally, I thought that marriage, which is an extension of that, was something that had nothing to do with me.
Even after I fell in love with you, I never associated it with marriage. Marriage is about creating a future... Because I chose the path of defeating Sin, that couldn't happen.
Of course, there are people like my father who became High Summoners after getting married and having children. My mother was taken by Sin, and that was when he became determined to become a summoner.
But I aspired to become a summoner much earlier. Once I aimed for it, I couldn't afford to stray from the path. I thought that even delaying marriage by one day would reduce the number of tragedies.
Marriage was an impossible choice.
That's why I was so swayed by Master Seymour's proposal. Not a marriage between Seymour and Yuna, but a wedding between one of Yevon's four Maesters and a summoner. This celebration, even if only temporarily, could drive away the fear of Sin from the hearts of Spira's people. It could heal their suffering... If I could use a "marriage" that had no meaning to me, even if just a pretense, in this way, it might be beneficial to everyone, I thought, and I was conflicted.
The fact that I was confused here was my mistake in the first place. It was strange, wasn’t it, trying to bring happiness to the people of Spira with a marriage built on lies? Everyone knows the fate of summoners.
And so I thought that if I held a false wedding, the blessings would drive away the sadness from Spira—now that I think about it, it was just a deception to divert people's eyes from the truth, much like the spiral of death depicted in Sin and Yevon's teachings...
You were the only one who opposed my plan outright, without regard for the will of summoners or for Spira. Yet, I tried to use the marriage I had once decided to refuse as a bargaining chip to stop Maester Seymour...
That's a terrible story, isn’t it? I thought I loved you, but in front of you, who knew nothing yet, I treated marriage like a tool... I think it was inevitable that you would be disillusioned. No matter what I say, I don’t think I can be forgiven. When I think about how I made you feel, I want to cry.
Perhaps until that point, I thought of myself as an unsent. I misunderstood what it meant to prepare myself, thinking it was okay to suppress my own feelings if it was for some purpose. I had become so accustomed to being a summoner that I could no longer consider the feelings of those who saw me as the only "Yuna" in the world.
After declaring that I would get married, so many things happened, and I was separated from the guardians and from you—and then, at the false wedding ceremony in Bevelle Palace, the dead Maester Seymour stole a kiss from me, right in front of you... At that time, I was so foolish, and anger welled up within me. What happened there was a mistake born from my own hesitation. I finally understood that this was also what the decision to get married meant.
And along with that, I became distinctly aware.
For those who are alive to act like the dead and the resolve to fight against Sin are two different things. If you kill the precious emotions that well up from the bottom of your heart to the point where you can no longer even recognize them—there's no way that could bring true happiness to Spira. I could not lose sight of what I was fighting for.
So, let me apologize. If I don’t apologize to you, my heart will be filled with regret...
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I deeply regret it...
After escaping from Bevelle Palace, we fled into Macalania Woods, and I took a moment to catch my breath.
Then, thoughts about marriage and everything else started rising up in my mind. My shoulders suddenly felt heavy. So heavy that I couldn’t even lift my head. It felt like all the tension was leaking out through a huge hole in my heart...
It was a horrible self-loathing. As I mentioned before, I realized that I had taken advantage of my position as a summoner, and hurt you and the people who care about me. And when I learned the truth about the teachings of Yevon, I was devastated. I felt incredibly foolish for believing in teachings that were merely traditions, considered right without even questioning them. I was disgusted by my own childishness, thinking that as long as I had resolve and tried my best, I could go through this journey with a smile. I couldn’t bear to see the worried faces of my guardians, so I was utterly depressed when I was left alone. I didn’t want to show them how miserable a summoner I was... But, my feelings had sunk so low that I couldn’t recover on my own, and I kept going round and round, thinking about what I had been doing until then.
Then you came.
I realized that my feelings had lightened a little. But, I was embarrassed by my pathetic face, even though I had asked you to smile no matter what since you became a guardian, so at first, I couldn’t bring myself to look at you.
Then, you said you had heard everything. About the summoner, about the Final Summoning to defeat Sin—I thought, oh, you’ve learned it all. My feelings of regret towards you grew stronger... and above all, when I realized that now, knowing I had no future, I could no longer speak with you as I had before, I felt incredibly sad.
But then, you told me to stop pushing myself so hard. You told me to stop the pilgrimage, to forget being a summoner, and just live. You even invited me to come to your Zanarkand. You said that in the ‘city that never sleeps’ without Sin, I could cheer you on as you played blitzball, we could party all night, and watch the sunrise over the sea together... I wanted to go so badly. If I could throw everything away and give up on this goal that was no longer going well, so many enjoyable things would be waiting for me.
At that moment, countless memories passed through my mind. All the people I’ve met who live in Spira. The scenes I’ve witnessed. The feelings I couldn’t cope with. The joy I’ve experienced... there’s no way I could forget those. No matter how much fun I have, I would definitely realize that it’s all an illusion. Even if I’m laughing and having fun with you, I can’t fool myself. If I run away from here now, I’ll never be able to truly laugh again.
I guess I was closer to my limit than I thought... The reality was sad, frustrating, and I was lost about what to do, but in the end, the answer was already decided. I was just so overwhelmed that I couldn't even see what I had chosen as my purpose in life, even though I knew it all.
Your words shook me, and I immediately woke up. My happiness is for everyone to be able to laugh and live in Spira without Sin. No matter where I run, that truth won’t change.
I was happy about your feelings, but it was painful that I couldn’t respond to them… That’s why I cried. Even though I’m a summoner. Even though I carry Spira's expectations. The emotions I had locked away in my heart overflowed beyond my limits, and I showed the weakness I had hidden.
Then, you gently touched me, called my name...
And kissed me. You held me completely, as a girl, with all your feelings.
At that moment, I thought I could have rejected you. For me, who intended to continue my journey -- and for you, who knew that my life was infinitely short -- that embrace meant taking a step towards a much more painful farewell than before...
Confirming feelings of love with the person I truly loved -- that was something unimaginable for me, something I absolutely had to avoid since I decided to become a summoner. It was believed that it would dull a summoner's will to fight. And even if I could continue my journey without wavering, it would make the "death" that would come in the final battle with Sin even more painful and miserable. I thought in that moment when your lips were about to touch mine, that this love would only bring sadness to both you and me.
But the more I tried to push such hesitation to the back of my mind, the stronger my impulse became. I wanted to feel the love I had for you, and my will to reject you had already disappeared somewhere.
Your lips were soft when they touched mine, warm in the night air, and in the next moment, I no longer knew where I was. I felt numb from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, as if struck by lightning; of course, it was completely different from black magic or the lightning strikes in the Thunder Plains... It was a magical kiss that completely erased the feeling of being forcefully taken, the feeling that had seemed to cling to me ever since the false marriage in Bevelle. It was something wonderful, conveying my feelings of love for you more than words could, and something precious that you also conveyed to me.
Under the clear night sky, in the spring quietly illuminated by countless pyreflies, I was able to gaze only at you, a time of happiness. A happiness I had kept at a distance. Facing it took a lot of courage, but I had no regrets. Even if the farewell became painful, I wanted to have the strength to face it head-on… that’s what I thought. The feeling of being in love with you, and knowing that you loved me too, gave me a different kind of courage, a new resolve. I was determined to bear your pain and suffering as well.
Though our roles have reversed now.
The memories of that night are not sad at all. They are precious, condensed memories that sparkle hard like jewels. A wonderful time when I truly felt your warmth. A moment that served as a vessel to firmly hold you in my heart...
For a while after what happened at the spring.
To tell the truth, I was a little worried.
You also found out that the fate of a summoner is that the Final Summoning is a technique that costs a life. Knowing that, I wondered if things could stay the same as before. I was worried that you might start treating me with extra care, like handling something fragile, and that made me anxious.
But that didn’t happen. You told me that you would definitely find a way to defeat Sin without using the Final Summoning, without the summoner losing their life. At the time, I thought it was impossible, but it made me really happy to hear that. I noticed that sometimes you would look at me with a thoughtful expression, but those weren’t the eyes of someone who was seeing off a summoner destined to die.
I wished you wouldn’t suffer like that. Once you cross Mount Gagazet, the final obstacle of the journey looming before us, we would reach the destination of our journey. Zanarkand, the sacred land of Yevon, where the Final Summoning is bestowed.
It was only a short time, but I’m glad I got to travel with you and become so close to you—I’ll never forget how I felt as I stood before that single path that only I could see, stretching across the vast Calm Lands.
I’ll never forget it.
The first time was when we fought the transformed Seymour on Mount Gagazet.
Those words that Seymour said. "I will become Sin. Yes, with your help. Come with me, Yuna,” and that Jecht will be saved… I didn’t understand what he meant at all, but when I saw how seriously angry you were, I realized he wasn’t just making things up.
Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine. It wasn’t from the cold of Mount Gagazet; it was the realization of my own ignorance. I hadn’t planned on following Yevon’s teachings so blindly, but seeing Zanarkand made me realize with a shock that all I knew about Sin and the Final Summoning came from those teachings.
Sin is the punishment for mankind’s sin? The Final Summoning is the only way to defeat Sin, and it requires the life of the summoner? And Sin will be reborn? If you think about it, it’s just knowledge passed down through Yevon’s teachings, which abhor change. I didn’t understand anything. And yet, there was something that you, who shouldn’t even be from Spira, knew... I felt like something was wrong. It was like biting into a bitter fruit, and an unpleasant astringency spread to the base of my tongue.
When I asked you, you said it with such pain. That Jecht was Sin. That Jecht was tormenting Spira, and you apologized to everyone.
I couldn’t comprehend what it all meant. Was Sin originally a human? Does someone become Sin, and the current Sin is that Jecht who fought alongside my father? My head was spinning, and I couldn’t even begin to think of an explanation.
But in that moment...
I vaguely understood that the meaning of the battle had changed.
I would defeat Sin. That didn’t change. But the journey to defeat Sin, the heartless source of all evil, which I had naively believed was a completely righteous battle, was rewritten here. I realized I had to fight and defeat the father of the one I love...
You knew that, and yet you still tried to fight alongside us.
I didn’t understand anything. This was a journey to uncover the truth. The truth of Spira had not yet been revealed. I realized I had to go to Zanarkand to find it.
And then... I felt a strange, unsettling anxiety rising within me like a dark cloud.
For some reason, I’ve always been able to sense these things since I was young. And this time, it wasn’t wrong either...
Soon after that, we saw the countless Fayth statues embedded in the rock walls of Mount Gagazet.
You touched the statues and suddenly lost consciousness... and as I heard Wakka and Rikku making a fuss, I was overwhelmed by a bad—a really bad premonition. It wasn’t about you not waking up or anything like that... I felt like I was losing something much more important. It felt as though I could see through your body, just like when I look at the Fayth.
Your consciousness was abruptly cut off, and though it was a terribly strange way to collapse, when you woke up, you were the same as usual—
No, you seemed even more energetic than usual. That confirmed my premonition. Because when I caught a glimpse of your face that time, it was the expression of someone who had seen something incredibly terrifying and was desperately trying to hold it in...
But I couldn’t bring myself to ask you what kind of “dream” you had.
I thought I had no doubts about my resolve to defeat Sin. But I was scared, and I had chills... I had a strong feeling that a reality much worse than I had imagined was hidden behind this journey...
“Listen to my story, this may be our last chance.”
Finally, we arrived at the ruins of Zanarkand. As I stood before the vast ruins, you said, “This isn’t your Zanarkand, after all.” Then you carefully recounted everything we’d been through, the memories of our journey. You mentioned how Lulu was scary back then, how Kimahri barely spoke, how Rikku’s attacks really hit hard… You kept going back through our memories, as if trying to stop me from moving forward from here. As if trying to delay the moment of obtaining the Final Aeon, even just a little.
I still remember, even now, the pain in my heart from when I interrupted that moment.
It wasn’t just for my sake, was it? I later realized that it might have been your last moment too…
We learned the true nature of the Final Summoning.
A secret ritual that turns the most trusted Guardian into a Fayth, creating the Final Aeon. That’s when I understood the meaning of this pilgrimage was to foster a strong bond between the summoner and their Guardians.
The sorrow of losing an irreplaceable companion would disappear the moment I used the Final Summoning and died. Only ‘nothingness’ would remain. So, there was nothing to worry about…
But the words spoken by Lady Yunalesca, who had spent 1,000 years as an unsent, revealed a cruel truth that had been hidden in Yevon’s history. It was not salvation at all. The summoner’s pilgrimage, which had been portrayed as a beacon of hope, was merely a repetition of deceit. With this method, Sin would never be truly defeated. Even if we defeated it, the Guardian who sacrificed themselves to wish for peace would become the new Sin and rise again.
That’s what it meant for Sir Jecht to become Sin. My father and his guardians may have accepted the Final Summoning thinking they could break the cycle of death themselves, but in reality, they were only sowing the seeds for the next disaster.
Sir Jecht must have suffered as Sin… He must have been in so much pain… And you, knowing this, must have been holding back the same frustration and helplessness that we all felt in that moment…
That’s why I rejected this 1,000-year-old fate. I vowed to abandon the false hope and find another way to fight through it. I promised that someday, I would completely eradicate Sin forever.
And so, we destroyed the means to obtain the Final Aeon along with Lady Yunalesca. It was the only choice we had, but as someone raised within Yevon, I wondered if I had done something irreversible. What would I say to the people of Spira if we couldn’t defeat Sin after this…? That’s what I was thinking. From that moment on, I was walking a path where I could no longer rely on the wisdom or experience of those who came before, so I felt uneasy.
But you, with a smile, said, “Let’s do something more unbelievable! Destroy Sin! So it won’t come back, and without the Final Aeon!” It was incredibly reassuring. Seeing you, I believed that the path I chose was not wrong. You gave me strength.
Though the Final Aeon was gone—
My resolve remained unchanged.
The Final Summoning, which would guarantee the cessation of Sin’s activities in exchange for the summoner’s life. Even though I chose to fight without it, I knew it didn’t mean the summoner was now safe. In fact, the situation had become even more severe. I thought that unless I faced that ‘Sin’ with the resolve to throw away my own life as a summoner controlling the aeons, I wouldn’t be able to stand against it… I couldn’t imagine surviving it.
I struggled alone with thoughts of how to defeat it… But everyone else was thinking about it too. The plan to play the Hymn of the Fayth to Sir Jecht inside Sin, to temporarily calm it. Then, the plan to extract the truth hidden outside the teachings of Yevon, the real identity of Sin, from Maester Mika of Bevelle.
It was only then that I realized, I wasn’t alone. We were all fighting, wishing for peace in Spira.
But, you know, a bad feeling was also growing inside me.
When the Fayth of Bahamut appeared in the Bevelle temple and offered wisdom on how to defeat ‘Sin,’ it felt strange. The sense of loss I’d felt since Mount Gagazet, that uneasy feeling, as if something far worse than just the truth about the Final Summoning was slowly rising from the depths…
Why could you see the Fayth too? What was that strange exchange between you and the Fayth that seemed to hint at something? It was as if you and the Fayth had known each other for a long time. Why did the Fayth apologize to you—? Were you really just a dream?
When I asked if you were hiding something, you said you weren’t. But I understood then. You hadn’t told me something very important.
Just like how I hadn’t told you about the fate of a summoner...
Everyone in Spira sang on the ground.
We fought on the airship.
Lightning erupted from the airship’s weapons that Cid had prepared.
Finally, Sin fell. Never before in our history had we cornered Sin to that extent without using the Final Summoning. For 1,000 years, it was a scene no one thought possible.
Maybe we can do it. Maybe we can end Sir Jecht’s suffering. Maybe we can defeat Yu Yevon inside Sin and prevent it from ever being resurrected again.
When I thought that, the answer to the question that had been bothering me for so long suddenly flashed across my mind like lightning. The reason why the Fayth, who had been lending us their strength all this time, deliberately used the word "help."
When Yu Yevon loses the armor that protects him—Sin—he then possesses the aeon that defeated it and tries to create the armor again. Until now, the Final Aeon, which no longer has a summoner, would become the next vessel and the core of Sin.
So, what happens to Yu Yevon if we defeat Sir Jecht’s Final Aeon? He will surely possess the aeon I summon. It will be a very small Sin, small enough that even we humans might be able to fight it... And if we defeat all the aeons, Yu Yevon will have nowhere to go and will have to reveal his true form. That will likely be the final battle to destroy Sin forever.
In other words, when the Fayth said they would help, it meant they would allow Yu Yevon to possess them and become the opponents we must defeat... And the aeons will never return. I finally understood that, to save our Spira, I would have to sever the lives of the Fayth, who are bound to us by the bond of souls.
There’s something else that’s bothering me.
The Fayth said they will stop dreaming, right? The dreams will disappear...
What Yu Yevon is summoning inside Sin is “the Fayth’s... dream.”
Your response echoed hollowly. For no clear reason, just a bad premonition and some omens brought me closer to the core. The thin veil covering the truth peeled off silently and fell.
It can’t be... Even if I tried to deny it, that cruel answer wouldn’t go away. “You won’t…go away, will you?”
My voice sounded like I was murmuring. I understood. This was the true nature of the chill I had been feeling all this time.
Without receiving your answer, we headed to the final showdown with Sin—the last battle to stop Yu Yevon...
Sir Jecht ran out of strength...
The source of all this— neither good nor evil—the sad remnants of the ancient summoner Yu Yevon appear. A being that has long since lost its human form, perished 1,000 years ago, and continues to summon in the hope of weaving Zanarkand into an eternal dream.
If we defeat Yu Yevon, the nightmare that envelops Spira will disappear. Sin, which was given the power to continue attacking people as armor to protect the dream, will disappear.
And the things created in the dream will also vanish. The city of dreams, untouched by war. The long-desired utopia. Zanarkand, the “city that never sleeps”... and your hometown.
Then, what about you?
“After we beat Yu Yevon, I’ll disappear!”
While your words shocked everyone, I kept looking at you.
You were looking at me too. Your sea-blue eyes stared straight back at me.
A terrible sense of loss. A cloudy, unreal sensation, as if half my body had been taken to the Farplane. It was as if my very existence, not just my consciousness, was rejecting this reality where my premonition had come true. A pain as if half of my body was being torn off. Somewhere deep inside, I knew I was crying, asking, “Why didn’t you tell me? How cruel...”
But―
But what could I say? The part of my spirit, perhaps the part of me that had resolved to be a summoner, speaks calmly to the childish part. It scolds. Holding back tears.
This is the same thing. The same thing I was doing. The summoner who had to die using the Final Summoning to defeat Sin. You, who resolved to disappear by erasing Yu Yevon, the source of Sin.
Both were the same resolve. Wanting everyone to be happy, I decided to sacrifice myself. While whispering a small "I'm sorry" to the one I love and who loves me.
You accepted this feeling of "loss" and embraced me. You fell in love with me. You stayed as the person I loved.
I averted my eyes, escaping your gaze, and thought.
Then, I shouldn’t be allowed to take out this pain on you.
I—I alone must properly accept your resolve.
"I know it’s selfish…but this is my story!"
You stepped forward and shouted, and I watched your back.
Yes. This, this battle, is no longer my story. The main character is you. The story of you running to end the dream, and the Fayth trying to put an end to their too-long dream along with their lives.
I have to come to terms with it. I have to let you run to the end. No! My heart creaked.
I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to give up. Just like you, who wavered, trying to find a path other than the Final Summoning before meeting Lady Yunalesca.
I thought I needed nothing else but peace for Spira. But at that moment, I found one more thing I wanted.
Beloved, please don’t disappear.
Finally understanding the sadness of those left behind, I faced Yu Yevon.
Poor Yu Yevon, the great summoner who couldn’t accept the end of Zanarkand, wakes up from a thousand-year dream. With the Pagoda as his gravestone, he vanishes from Spira.
The giant body of Sin loses its core, becoming merely a vast, countless mass of pyreflies. It was now a lifeless shell that no longer had the will to harm people.
And so, I untied the last remaining knot with this world. The Sending returned what had been Sin, and the aeons that had completed their roles as vessels for Yu Yevon, to formless pyreflies. They all vanished into the night sky...becoming large, large flowers of light blooming in the dark sky.
That meant that all the Fayth had entered a restful sleep, never to dream again. The world bound by dreams, the "city that never sleeps" Zanarkand, would also disappear. And you, who came from there, too...
Your figure flickered faintly, translucent.
You looked sadly at your body fading away. I didn’t even blink, not taking my eyes off you. I felt that if I didn’t keep my gaze on you, you would disappear in the next moment.
I knew the eyes you directed at me were saying goodbye. Reflexively, I shook my head, "No, no," like a small child. Like when I lost my father.
You made the best smile you could and said, "Yuna, I have to go."
"I’m sorry I couldn’t show you Zanarkand."
That was to keep me from feeling sad. A kind lie, telling me that you weren’t going to disappear, but return to your world. It pained me unbearably to know that even at this moment, you were still worried about me. If I truly care about you, I have to be strong at this moment... that’s what I thought.
As you tried to shake off the pain of disappearing and step out into the sky from the airship, I hugged you, trying to keep you tied to this world, even if just a little longer. But even that wish no longer reached you. Your body was as transparent as air, and I couldn’t even touch you.
I collapsed on the deck, tears spilling down.
I heard your low, restrained voice as you tried to hold me but couldn’t. I could tell, it was a voice that was about to cry but was holding it in for someone else...
I have to tell you it’s okay. I have to tell you not to be sad anymore because I’m fine. So, I stood up, making sure you couldn’t see my face, and said, “I love you.” (JP: "Thank you.") I’ll never forget. I won’t believe that you disappeared. You were here, you saved Spira and me... with those feelings. So that you could go home feeling at ease.
You knew I was holding myself together, didn’t you? But without saying anything, you hugged me from behind. An embrace where we couldn’t touch directly... our forms overlapping... but I felt the same warmth as that night at the Macalania Spring. Your feelings were just the same... And you ran through me and leapt into the sky without looking back.
I felt like I could see it. The three of them welcoming you—Auron, my father, and Jecht—smiling and clapping hands together in satisfaction.
As you dissolved into the sea, into the sky...
Even though it was sad and painful, I think it was a wonderful love.
You gave Spira the Eternal Calm, and I received an unforgettable love.
But I still don’t want to say it was a "wonderful love."
Because I want this love to have a happy ending... I don’t want to give up.
I won’t give up on you.
"The people and the friends that we have lost, or the dreams that have faded…Never forget them."
That’s what I called out to people all over the world.
I want them to remember you, who ran around Spira and worked so hard to defeat Sin.
If all those feelings come together into one dream—just like the dream of the "city" woven by the people of Zanarkand who perished 1,000 years ago—then maybe, just maybe, you’ll come back to Spira again.
I believe that this time I’ll be able to meet you, not as a dream, but as reality...
When I finished my speech at Luca Stadium, it felt like everyone’s hearts became one and soared into the sky.
That’s why I summon you. These feelings can’t be for nothing.
You haven’t disappeared; you’re just somewhere else. You’re surely doing well in the place where everyone’s feelings for you will eventually reach.
Someday, you’ll come to see me...
On the beach where you first washed ashore on Besaid Island...
Every day, I watch the horizon. The place where the sky and sea blend together. These calm days, where it feels as though even time has slipped away—they go on and on, an Eternal Calm. In the midst of this, my story keeps going, without end.
The ending I wish for my story looks like this: I whistle. And you, hearing that sound, come back from across the sea. Please, keep your promise to come when you hear my whistle.
By then, I’ll be able to dive and swim even better. Like Rikku. So I can get closer to you as you swim towards me, to make sure that you’ve really come back. So I can embrace you with all my heart.
I don’t know if I’ll reach the ending I hope for. But I have a feeling that as long as I don’t give up, the whistle I practice every day will one day reach you.
I’ll be able to show you the way back...
I’ll wait for the end of my story, which will surely come. I’ll keep whistling to summon you.